Why do nice guys finish last

In doing so, I have helped create the perfect storms that have landed on each of the houses built with these nice guys. Inevitably, each of these relationships with these nice guys has gotten here. To the place where the curtain is pulled back, the tricks explained, and the magic is gone. The woman who had it all and threw it all away. And my other personal favorite, a woman who will never be loved again the way that they loved me.

But rarely have I seen them take ownership for their part. Rarely have I seen self-awareness or accountability for how we got to that final place. Our memories and happy times piled around our feet. At some point, you want to give the kids back and let their parents deal with them.

If you can predict their every move, you fall into a repeated pattern. For me who wants to change and grow and develop and find excitement in the day-to-day, this gets boring, disinteresting, and evokes repetitious face-palming. They need to know their worth and who they are. To go into a relationship with another person confident enough to push back; say no; argue; disagree; fight; set boundaries; and have other interests besides their relationship and their partner.

They certainly need to be able to see other things outside of their coupledom that brings them worth, joy, esteem, and satisfaction. For when things then get rocky, the whole universe comes crashing down and they are badly burned. Such heartbreak. Life is way too short. And if it has required being called or seen as the villain, so be it. They have to do it for themselves and by themselves. I know I contributed to the fall of several nice guy empires.

I do promise it was never intentional. For deciding to end it rather than drag it out and pretend it was something else. A woman who has her pick of stable, emotionally available male specimens decides to go for some rugged, rebellious jerk instead. Do nice guys really finish last? There are lots of valid reasons why women go for bad boys — in fact, some of them have to do with hormonal changes that are beyond their control more on that later.

That said, it is possible to be a good guy and still get the girl. As a matchmaker, I am asked about this question over and over again. That, in a nutshell, is the essence of pure masculine energy, so it makes sense why women might be drawn to it. Opposites attract, after all. Still, with that alpha presence comes some negative traits as well: jealousy, aggression, insensitivity, and inability to commit, to name a few.

This subject is a complicated one. This seems to suggest the idea that those brooding macho men have a leg up when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Or, conversely, it could also mean that guys with those personality traits are simply more likely to be promiscuous by nature. The bad boy definitely comes with some inherent excitement. Women may say one thing, yet mean another.

With that being said, both men and women will continue to grow and learn about themselves after dating different people. Yes, this means women will outgrow the jerks. They will exhaust themselves from men buying them drinks at clubs and instead, pursue dreams of settling down and buying a house. They will long for security and a nice guy to love them unconditionally, rather than one who leaves them tirelessly piecing together suspicious alibis.

The lies will get old and so will the waiting. Unfortunately, often times we don't know what's good for us until we've been exposed to what's bad for us. Women need to get their hearts broken and self-esteem perished once, twice or maybe three times to recognize what they deserve. Thanks, jerks. Your emotionless charm and excessive lying serves to help women grow from being the naive girls they once were.

You have paved the way for nice guys to finally get their shot.